Moved, Stressed & Scared

As many of you may or may not know, I recently moved back home with my mother. It's been stressful, scary and kind of annoying. I was happy renting in the burbs being near friends and much closer to the cities and the job possibilities I was aiming for. But here, in Owatonna, I feel like I'm going to get in a rut being so far away from all the things, places and people I love. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and family, they are awesome, but I'm just use to living on my own with my own schedule and doing things my own way. I guess stubborn runs in the family.

I've been trying to get back into the advertising/ marketing/ design field for some time now and it's just not working out for me. I feel I was caught in this middle zone between the times of Advertising Silos and this New Age of Advertising. I've been trained in the old ways and not being immersed in the biz I feel that I am missing out on catching up with what is going on. I still fall within the 'entry level' category when job looking, but in this limbo of a world I'm not prepared for needed jobs like web designer or interactive specialist, but I don't have the years experience to get art director or creative lead, things that I know how to do.

It's stressful and I feel that my 4 year degree is being wasted away. You know, "Use it or lose it." I'm still a good illustrator/ artist, but I feel like I am falling out of touch with my advertising degree and it's only been 2 years since I graduated. Now, I'm wondering if it was all worth it. Yes! On one hand, I had a great 4 years, learned many things that I use every day, plus friends and experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world. But, at the same time no, the 100+ thousands of dollars and stress from all of the aftermath is getting to me. I feel though that I lack focus and passion, which inevitably makes this all no ones fault, but my own.

So I got good grades, graduated on time and then had a full time job (Salary + Benefits) just months after graduating. Pretty successful right? Sadly, the economy wasn't something that I factored in when I made my 5 year plan for "After MCAD." Now I feel like I have to reinvent the wheel again and possibly go back to school. For what? I'm not to sure yet. One idea is just branching off and learning more web things, another idea is baking and cooking (which I do love), but I still love advertising too. There is no 10, 5 or even 1 year plan right now... The plan is to "Just be," for now.