Life Will Go On

Life has been tough over the last few months, but the last few days have been even tougher. It was a normal Tuesday; I slept in, had a little lunch, and popped on my Adium to see if my boyfriend was a round to chit-chat. By the end of it, I found myself in a mutual break up with said boyfriend. But, I WILL NOT be the evil ex-girlfriend who runs his name in the dirt. He is a wonderful person and always will be, but in the end it wasn’t meant to be. I actually have a list of the top 101 Reasons to love him, but no one want to read all that, the first 10 are good ones though.

01. The way you silently smile at me.
02. The smell on the neck of your shirt, that lingers for hours.
03. The color of your eyes.
04. The way you run your fingers through my hair.
05. Because you think I’m cute.
06. How nerdy you can be.
07. You make me feel so special.
08. The way you can just stare into my eyes quietly.
09. Your sense of humor, it always makes me laugh.
10. The way you like to spoil me.

I may be a little hurt now, but there are more good times to remember, then bad ones. And as my friend ‘Pokey’ pointed out to me, the only place I can go from here is up. I can only hope he is right. I will always cherish the times I had with my first love. I know he feels the same.

Always Ask Questions

Probably since the age of three or four, like most children, I started asking ‘why.’ Most parents try to explain or get frustrated from the repetition and say ‘because’ just to get it over with. It is by asking questions we learn the answers in life, but we have to be prepared for what ever those answers may be. To be curious is a very human trait and I wouldn’t go one day without it, but there are days where I fear what the answers may be and days where I hate what the answers were.

I am also a planner. I like trying to have a goal and a way to reach it. Even a loose to semi-idealized notion can be a form of a ‘plan.’ After three months with no job, I thought (and my mother suggested) I would go back to school. I thought, ‘Great, I can defer my loans learn something to help me get a better job and I can probably stay in the cities!’ Sadly, I learned after calling my bank/loan supplier on Monday, loans cannot go back into school status or deferment after being consolidated. This hit me kind of hard, that was one of the huge reasons why I thought it would be a good idea to go back to school. I also learned that if you were on unemployment, you would loose your benefits if you go back to school (full time, I believe).

Well, all of that felt like a blow in the stomach so yes asking questions will give you the answers you need, but I was not prepared for those answers. Unless the next month turns around for me, I undoubtedly think I will be stuck moving back home with my mother after my lease runs out.

So I Lost My Job...

At the end of April of 2009, I lost job. It's heart breaking, scary and stressful. You do feel like you're the only one it is happening to, no matter how many people tell you, you're not. I had no clue what I was going to do, but from my mom, resources and personal experience I created a list of steps to help others in the future who come across a similar situation.

1. Cry and call your loved ones (Maybe men might skip the crying part).
2. File for Unemployment (the next day). (UIMN, if you live in Minnesota)
After all the paper work and setting up stuff online is done, be sure to copy your ‘approved’ papers for loan deferments. There is a one-week waiting period and if you have any kind of severance package they take that into account. I went the first 3 weeks of May with NO money, thank goodness for parents.
3. Graduates call your loaners and look into deferments and/ or forbearances.
Well Fargo – Private Loan
Direct Loans – Federal Loan
4. Call HR from ‘said’ employer and inquiry about COBRA for your health benefits.
What to ask:
- Can I COBRA my health, dental and/ or other kind of insurance?
- Would it be the same level of benefits I have now?
- What is the price per month for this policy?
- How many months can I carry it?
- Does this reflect the new stimulus package, which usually lowers the costs?

You don’t have to agree on the spot, you can call back with your decision. I learned the hard way, I just COBRA my insurance, because I was denied when trying to get back to my parent's or previous insurance, do to a ‘previous condition.” Yes, all insurance companies are jerks, in my opinion.

5. Update/ Delete/ Edit any online media listing ‘said’ lost job.
Email Signatures
LinkedIn
Facebook/ MySpace
Twitter
Etc.
6. Find/ Edit/ Re-Vamp/ or Create a New Resume’
7. Prepare a list of references.
8. Fill out/ post your resume’ on job search websites:
Monster
Career Builder
MN Works
MN WFC
Hoovers
Indeed
9. Prepare a general cover letter as a starting point and remember to customize it for each job application.
10. Start your list of Job Offers and Contacts to keep track of whom and when you make contact and apply for job offers.
11. Network/ Contact/ Reach Out to who ever is listening, you never know who could help or offer and idea/ suggestion/ or even a job.
12. Have a part time job, anything, so while you are looking, it benefits your character as a hard, dedicated worker.
13. Apply, Apply, Apply!!!
14. Keep track of all applications to document for Unemployment, things like:
- Completed Applications
- Sending Employment Resumes
- Attend Job Seeking Seminars
- Do Networking. Research, Etc.
15. Remember ‘Thank You Letters/ Emails’ and/or ‘Call Backs.’
16. Freelance work, competitions, or even just new work for you book if you're a fellow artist, keeping busy helps.
17. I considered going back to school, but I learned that loans cannot be deferred again once they have been consolidated.

*This is all my opinion after losing my job, I am not guaranteeing that this is a sure fire way to get a new job, just how I went about doing it. I am not responsible for your path in life, you are. I'm just trying to help.