Probably since the age of three or four, like most children, I started asking ‘why.’ Most parents try to explain or get frustrated from the repetition and say ‘because’ just to get it over with. It is by asking questions we learn the answers in life, but we have to be prepared for what ever those answers may be. To be curious is a very human trait and I wouldn’t go one day without it, but there are days where I fear what the answers may be and days where I hate what the answers were.
I am also a planner. I like trying to have a goal and a way to reach it. Even a loose to semi-idealized notion can be a form of a ‘plan.’ After three months with no job, I thought (and my mother suggested) I would go back to school. I thought, ‘Great, I can defer my loans learn something to help me get a better job and I can probably stay in the cities!’ Sadly, I learned after calling my bank/loan supplier on Monday, loans cannot go back into school status or deferment after being consolidated. This hit me kind of hard, that was one of the huge reasons why I thought it would be a good idea to go back to school. I also learned that if you were on unemployment, you would loose your benefits if you go back to school (full time, I believe).
Well, all of that felt like a blow in the stomach so yes asking questions will give you the answers you need, but I was not prepared for those answers. Unless the next month turns around for me, I undoubtedly think I will be stuck moving back home with my mother after my lease runs out.
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